Smoking Hot
by Princess Pinky
Summary: How did Vanessa and Hugo meet and what led them to their jaunts in the Dark Vault?


**A/N:** How adorable were Vanessa and Hugo in "Love Sick" (if people remember that far back)? This probably won't be a popular fic because the characters aren't the main characters, but still. They were too cute! (Even though I do love Artie/Vanessa.) There's certainly so much to explore there, but the writers probably never will. So, I wrote this based on everything we learned about their previous relationship from that episode.

_**Smoking Hot**_

"Nice jacket."

Hugo pushed back on his heels and spun around, flashing his pearly whites. His brows instantly arched as his eyes widened to take in the curvy bloom of golden hair, belonging to the petite figure of the woman in front of him. He tugged at the edge of his rusty colored leather jacket as she held out her hand.

"Agent Calder."

"Agent Calder," he repeated, placing his hands into hers. "The pleasure is all mine."

"I'm sure it is."

"And so sure of yourself, too," he crooned. "I like you already!"

Agent Calder raked her manicured nails through her hair, never breaking her smooth grin. "You must be the new guy."

"Stellar powers of perception," he spouted sarcastically. "You walk in, see a strikingly handsome man you've never seen before…it's not that hard to deduce he's probably new."

Agent Calder smirked. "Two weeks ago I walked in to find ten 'strikingly handsome men' aimlessly wandering around The Warehouse. Turns out they were an unfortunate group of second year college students who had been out on a spring break fishing trip and had accidentally gotten their hands on the Original Can of Worms." She shook her head, causing a stray curl to loop over her left eyebrow and linger there, flirting with her eyelashes. "No," she said, shaking her head, "the way you were flirting with your doppelganger in Lewis Carroll's Looking Glass gave away that you're a Warehouse Virgin."

Hugo's face was still contorted an entire sentence back. "The Original Can of Worms?"

"You don't wanna know."

Suddenly his brows wriggled. "Wait, Warehouse _Virgin_?" He folded his arms into one another, standing as straight as his spine would allow. "And just _who_, might I ask, is responsible for popping my-" Agent Calder held up her finger, silencing Hugo, the latter of whom only just realized that the shadowy figure who had invaded his studio apartment a few nights before was staring at them.

"Mrs. Frederic," Agent Calder nodded, her bravado replaced with professional authority.

"I see you and Agent Miller have been acquainted," Mrs. Frederic spoke, her voice like the blade of a butcher's knife.

"Agent _Miller_," Agent Calder echoed, hiding a sly grin between the words. "Yes, yes we have."

"Agent Taylor's affairs will be in order by next week. Ideally, you would have been trained by senior agents before being partnered with Agent Miller, but circumstances have-"

"I understand," Agent Calder nodded, raising her hand to Mrs. Frederic. She smiled graciously. "I'm sure with your guidance, Agent Miller and I will be quick studies."

Mrs. Frederic shifted her eyes from behind her glasses, challenging the expressions of each of the young agents' faces. "As you're aware, Agent Calder, Warehouse fieldwork is unlike anything you've encountered before. What you've seen in the three weeks you've been here is _nothing_ compared to what you will be exposed to during your tenure. We have no time for our agents to fumble their way through lessons, which is why I am in the progress of temporarily bringing one our seasoned operatives back from retirement for the purpose of properly training you and Agent Miller. But until then, I'll be forced to leave you on your own." She tilted her head to the side, as though she were going to say something else, but did not.

Agent Calder stiffened and forced a smile, appearing as though she was about to mock salute Mrs. Frederic. "Understood."

Hugo nodded. "Likewise." He held out his hand, though Mrs. Frederic declined to take it.

"I have urgent business to attend to in Alaska," she informed them stoically. "I'll contact you on the Farnsworth within the hour." With that, she disappeared in the shadows of which she'd arrived, with her driver in tow.

"Farnsworth?" Hugo echoed, looking questioningly at his new partner. "She doesn't mean Philo Farnsworth, does she?"

"Who else would she mean?" Agent Calder asked, mock flippantly.

Hugo looked back over his shoulder, taking in the incredible vastness of The Warehouse. It seemed to go on forever. "It's bigger on the inside."

"Where do you think Agent Newman got the idea from?"

Hugo shook his head. "You're not serious!" he grinned, eyes bulging. "Sydney Cecil Newman? He did_ not_ work here!"

"Oh, you'd be surprised how many famous faces have actually been Warehouse Agents. We actually have Newman's TARDIS prototype…_if_ you're interested." She nearly winked. "Before you get _too_ excited, it doesn't actually time travel, that was just for the television series, but it does have a few other features not seen on TV…"

Hugo hurried to keep up with Agent Calder's brisk walk. The way she moved her legs and hips with such authority made him suspect she'd probably been a jogger for years, at least ten. He tried to keep his eyes at bay, but they continued to wander, despite his best intentions. "Sounds like we have a lot in common already."

"How so?"

"For starters: you like _Doctor Who_, I like _Doctor Who_."

"And?"

"We're both Warehouse Agents."

"And?"

"We're both new."

"_And?"_

Hugo suddenly grabbed her arm, breaking her stride. He pushed her against the nearest shelf, causing it to rattle, but luckily nothing fell off. Hugo leaned into her face, holding back a smirk of satisfaction as she locked her onto his eyes like a tractor beam. _"And…"_ He placed one hand against the curve of her waist and carefully slid it around to the small of her back, before guiding it over the swell of her form fitting black pants and finally into her back pocket, where he retrieved the leather casing containing her CDC identification. _"Vanessa,"_ he read slowly. "You like me. I like me too," he grinned smugly. "But more importantly, I like _you_."

Vanessa wrapped her slender hand around Hugo's, massaging his skin down to his fingers, and in a flash, she snatched up her I.D. and returned it to her back pocket. Suddenly _his_ wallet was in her hand instead. She watched with an impish glint in her eyes as her switcharoo registered on his smug face and skillfully slipped out from under his arm. "_Hugey_ Miller!" she singsonged. "How did a pretty boy like you end up on Mrs. Frederic's radar?"

"I'm not surprised you think I'm pretty," he said, grabbing the wallet from her hand. He followed her down the aisle, keeping just far enough behind her to avoid stepping on her heels. "And to answer your question, I was hired for my brain."

"So you're tech support?"

Hugo frowned. "It's quite huge, you know…not unlike my other attributes."

"Like what?" Vanessa smirked. "Your ego?"

Hugo began to walk backwards, quickening his pace so he was walking in line with her. "You're not going to make this easy for me, are you _V_?"

"What do you think?"

Hugo finally got in front of her and stopped abruptly, satisfied when she ran into him. He suddenly reached behind her ear and as if he were doing a child's magic trick he asked, "Oooh, what do we have here?" He pulled his hand out, revealing an object like a cigarette, but long, completely white, and more crudely constructed. "C'mon, V: _relax_. You know you want to."

Vanessa stroked the joint with her index finger. "Let me guess: you'll show me 'endless wonder'?"

Hugo shrugged. "You said it, not me."

Vanessa plucked the joint from between his fingers. "All right, I'll take you for a test drive and we'll see who's smoking by the end." She snapped her fingers as she resumed her pace down the aisle. "Do me a favor and do try to keep up."


End file.
